DTR and Post-It Notes

No one wants to have a DTR, a "determine the relationship" talk that is. It's just awkward and weird all around, especially when one half has NO idea what they are doing. Lets face it, some people just really aren't equipped to handle these sorts of situations. It doesn't help that in most straight relationships the guy is the one who simply cannot function in these situations. I may be gay but I know how to talk to girls. There are simple rules that can make "the talk" so much easier. On countless occasions I have been called upon to piece together (or break apart) a relationship or pre-relationship, whatever you want to call the "thing"...I really should write a book, I could use the extra cash...oh but then it might just go to clothes...Anyway, the point is there are SIMPLE things you can do to make this process so much easier for all parties concerned. 


1. This is probably the biggest one...IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED TELL HER/HIM! If you set this fact straight before you fiddle fart around you save yourself and your interest/non-interest from wasting time. If not, you or the recipient of your actions will just become more and more pissed off as time is wasted that they/you will either move on or explode. Most likely the latter. Time is a precious thing, and in today's fast paced society people don't have much to spare. Just get it done. End of story.


2. I have a dear friend who wrote what his love interest liked/what could potentially woo her on Post-It Notes. Ok, this is fine as long as you keep it to yourself. Like really. Don't tell anyone. AND FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T TELL HER/HIM! This brings me to my second point. If you have done anything that sounds remotely stalker/pedophileish DO NOT bring it up in the DTR/first date scene. This includes facebook stalking. Yes, we all do it but think about it. Really think about it..."Oh yeah, I saw you were at (insert location x) from your facebook pics!" Ok, creeper alert! No one likes to know that people are actually looking at them. It's a strange phenomenon in our culture. We put ourselves out there for all to see, but when people actually approach us about our online information we become uncomfortable. Bottom line...don't be a creeper. 


3. I know I'm going to get criticism for this one, but I just don't think you should pay for your date's/interest (or not interest whatever) dinner if you should end up eating together. Especially on a first date or DTR talk. After that point, it is acceptable but not until then. Some, especially girls, get offended by that sort of thing, some find it too forward, or even think the guy may expect something in return. Now this could be completely situational, feel it out, use your best judgement. 


Ok, sorry for the rant...maybe this will help someone, or perhaps you may find this entertaining...it has certainly been an eventful day in the life...


-DK